The Cool Down Before The Meltdown

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but not everybody knows how to handle their "downs". The "Cool down" method is when you both give each other time to cool off, relax, calm down, or breathe before the argument gets to an ugly point. Ladies when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed and frustrated, just take a step back and relax before you say or do something you might regret. If that means go for a walk, go for a walk. If you have to listen to music, stomp yours hands and clap your feet, do whatever you need to do to calm down, before you lose the one you love. The same goes for guys too, you have to learn how to calm down, and think before you react. Reacting without thinking will only lead to bad consequences, so the next time you and your mate are budding heads, just remember to COOL DOWN BEFORE THERE'S A MELT DOWN.

You must be able to COMMUNICATE!!!!!

This couple is so real when it comes to communicating in a relationship. when it comes to communicating, you have to LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS TELLING YOU. They have this "Spotlight Technique" that they use and I think that's a good way to help the communication in the relationship.

Trust

Trust is the most important part in a relationship. It can really make or break a relationship. Here's 9 steps I found, thanks wikiHow, on "How to Build Trust in a Relationship":

1. Be predictable. A lot of people believe that mixing things up makes a great relationship. In other words, always planning something new to surprise the other. First, although surprises are nice from time to time, stability and uniformity will strengthen, and are far more important in a relationship. Uniformity sounds boring, and we would all like some surprise in our life, but you need to be predictable to make things work in the long run. Predictability builds trust.
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   Be Reliable. Trust is just another way of saying you can rely on someone. You trust your partner to do certain things no matter what at all times. This trust builds security in a relationship. The same thing is true when you are able to depend on all the other things that happen in a relationship to be just as reliable.
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   Mean what you say. Your partner can read your face better than anyone else. If you are lying, or trying to hide some true feeling by not quite saying all that is on your mind, they will be able to tell. They might even think you are cheating, which can tear down the trust in your relationship. When they know they can trust whatever comes out of your mouth without hesitation, then you are building a bond that can be unshakable.
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   Have faith in your partner's capabilities. In other words, if you believe at all that they are not competent in some things, or all things they do, your trust in them will not be solid. If this is the case, you need to be up front with them on the issues in an honest and loving manner. This will allow you to work through this and keep the trust with each other.
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   Be up front with each other. Don't keep anything hidden, nothing should be privileged and kept from the other. You have to know that sooner or later all things come to light, and the consequences of not being completely truthful will kill the trust, and ruin your relationship.
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   Don't be reluctant to share your desires with each other. Too many people never let their partners know what they need. Don't let your partner wonder, or try to guess what they should do for you. It is essential this happens with both partners. If only one partner is being catered to by the other, there is a chance one will feel smothered, or the other might feel neglected. Either scenario is not good.
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   Be willing to say no. It is ok to listen to your partner needs, and try to fulfil them, but sometimes it's just as valuable to say no. You can't do everything all the time, and you will actually earn some respect when you refuse to do something once in a while. Taking a stand, and imposing your own will, can actually enhance the trust between you.
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   Consistently try to expand your relationship. There will always be reasons for growth. Through good times and bad, you must always be willing to stand tall and face all trials. When we listen to each other, even if the things you are hearing might hurt your feelings, you must face them in order to strengthen your relationship. If you don't do this, like a vine without water, your relationship will wither and die.
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   Trust your partner! How can your partner trust you when you don't trust them? Having trust takes two people, and without one person building trust too, it's like a fish without water.

Respect

When you have found that special someone and you get to know one another on a personal, deeper level the next thing to do is to respect each other. Respect is very important in a relationship. Have you ever heard of the saying, "You gotta give respect, to get respect"? Well that applies everywhere, work, daily encounters with people, and in relationships. If your mate talks down to you, pushes you around and treats you like dirt, that is not respect. I believe Aretha Franklin said it best, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me", if you want to keep that special person in your life, you have to show respect. I came across another blog where she's spelling out what Respect means to her, and after reading over it, I agree with her. Respect in Relationsips if you want to further learn how to respect yourself and your mate read this blog and tell me what you think.

Love Yourself, First

In order to be in a happy and healthy relationship, you must first "love yourself". Loving yourself can be very hard to do if you listen to how other people judge you. I was browsing the web on "how to love yourself" and I came across this website,  "7 Ways to Love Yourself". This site was very interesting to me and it started to make me think, do I really love myself inside and out. So as you guys read over the post, ask yourself, "Do I really love myself as much as I should, and if not then you have to change that in order for you to start taking steps to being in a happy and healthy relationship.